


Howl

by buckysknifecollection



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Werewolf, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood, Depression, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Protective Steve Rogers, Swearing, Violence, dub-con due to insobriety, mention of death (unspecified side character), mention of past mistreatment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:13:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22100854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckysknifecollection/pseuds/buckysknifecollection
Summary: After running away from your old pack, you guard your independence tooth and nail. When a one night stand ends in an unexpected way, you are forced to change your ways. Will you be able to let someone into your heavily guarded heart?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson, Sharon Carter/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 145





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> {{This series is being reposted from my Tumblr blog buckysknifecollection.tumblr.com}}
> 
> I have a love-hate relationship with the A/B/O trope. In this series I concentrate more on the familial/pack aspect of it, as well as trust and loyalty, rather than sex. The first chapter will probably be the only chapter that includes anything nsfw.

You usually stayed away from Alphas. They were obnoxious assholes, with their dominant personalities, often crude talk and unrelenting gazes. Kind of like regular men except they could turn into a wolf and rip out your throat if you pissed them off. They were plain scary and you wanted nothing to do with them. Usually you only hung out with Betas and Omegas, who were much easier to get along with.

An unmated Omega like you was vulnerable to all sorts of trouble, but you managed to avoid it so far. Ever since you left your pack and ran across country, you remained independent.

You were only a teenager when you ran off, refusing to deal with the pack’s old-fashioned bullshit. Only adult Alphas had any say in pack matters, your father had picked out a mate for you before you even realised your mother’s name wasn’t Mom. The pack elders refused to give you any freedom regarding your future and in return you refused to live like that, so the moment you managed to save enough money to get as far from them as possible, you took the opportunity. You’ve been on the run for a few years after that, but now you’ve settled and were pretty happy with your life, even if not being part of a pack got lonely sometimes.

What exactly came over you and you allowed this random Alpha to approach you, you had no idea. Maybe it was the loneliness that you refused to acknowledge and your wolf instincts begging for you to listen to them.

The looked like your stereotypical Alpha, tall and muscular, his presence demanding respect. But he didn’t exactly behave like the Alphas you were used to. When he joined you at the bar, he seemed nervous, shy even and soft spoken, which was very unusual, he quickly relaxed once you’ve smiled at him and allowed him to sit next to you. His blue eyes looked at you kindly and he kept a bit of distance so as not to scare you away, probably. He seemed nice, a gentleman even. And by all means he was beautiful, even in the dim lighting of the club, he was absolutely stunning with his golden hair and perfectly trimmed beard.

It was probably the most stupid thing had ever done, but his kind demeanor and the alcohol in your system made you lower your walls just this once, just a little bit. The way he was talking to you felt more like he was truly trying to get to know you, not throw you over his shoulder and take you straight to his den.

Talking with him was easy, his sense of humour went well with yours and with each drink, the two of you seemed to gravitate closer to each other. You were the one to initiate physical contact first, tucking a stray strand of his soft hair back in it’s place when it had fallen over his eyes after you’d made him laugh too hard. You had to admit he was really, really cute and you wanted him.

You’re not really sure how did he end up with a strong arm behind your back holding you close and his soft lips on yours, but you weren’t complaining. He was gentle and it felt so good. Blame it on your own curiosity and carelessness, but you invited him over to your apartment. You lived only a couple of blocks away from the club so it only took a few minutes of awkward swaying and bumping into each other to get there. Impatient pulling of clothes followed by breathless giggles and that’s how you ended up in bed with the most beautiful man you have ever met.

You never understood why the women in your old pack, as well as what few wolf friends you had these days, were mad about getting an Alpha in bed. It probably stemmed from your general dislike of Alphas, you always rolled your eyes at everyone else’s drooling. Now as you lay underneath the guy you met at the club, his thick arms caging you in and pinning you to the mattress and his cock thicker and better than anyone else you had, maybe you were beginning to change your mind.

“Steve…” You moaned as he hit just the right spot and you were beginning to feel your second orgasm of the night wash over you. The moment the two of you had stumbled to your bed earlier, Steve had eaten you out with so much enthusiasm you were sure you saw the constellations through the ceiling.

“Shh, I know, baby.” Steve leaned into you, his weight on top of you absolutely delicious. He kissed you deeply, his own moans mixing with your own as with each roll of his hips he brought you closer to the edge.

You didn’t plan for this adventure to be anything more than just that - an adventure for the night, having a taste of what’s it like being fucked by an Alpha, finally seeing what the big deal was. Maybe you would ask for his number afterwards and text a bit, but that was about it. The way Steve was treating you though gave you second thoughts.

“Alpha, _please_ \- “ You choked out, so so close to the edge now. You didn’t even know what you were pleading for but you wanted something.

Sure, you were way too drunk to form any logical thoughts, both of you were drunk as hell. It was a miracle that you even managed to somehow put the condom on Steve. Your mind started suggesting things to you, in your drunk and blissed out state.

Maybe not all Alphas were possessive dicks? Maybe being with someone like Steve wouldn’t be that bad? Maybe being with Steve wouldn’t be bad at all? Maybe Steve would treat you with respect and take care of you and be good to you? Maybe even being bonded with him wouldn’t be that bad?

So when he breathlessly asked you _Do you want me, little Omega? Do you want to be mine?_ , you foolishly, thoughtlessly hissed out a _Yes_ when you felt sparks all over your body and you finally let go.

You reached your high shortly, jaw dropped open in a silent scream as you dug your nails in Steve’s shoulders. He was right behind you, his movements soon stilling as he came, his face buried on your neck, as he fucked you through your highs with shallow, lazy thrusts.

You felt like you blacked out for a few seconds there, you had never come that hard. As you slowly came back to your senses, you chest heaving and your limbs feeling like jelly, you started to become aware of a sharp pain at your neck. You felt hot, like you were overheating, but your neck felt even hotter.

“Steve?” You called his name, not sure of what happened and if he was okay, as he was panting against your neck still. With a groan, he lifted his face. When you saw him, you instantly felt an icy shiver run down your spine.

“Steve, what…?” You touched his pink plump lips with your fingertips and they came away stained red.

“What did you do?” You asked him, your voice trembling and barely over a whisper, even though the answer was obvious.

Steve stared at you with wide eyes and mouth open in shock, his lips and teeth stained with your blood. You pushed him off you and shot out of the bed to the nearest mirror, in the en suite bathroom. There was blood running down your shoulder and collarbone, unmissable teeth marks were pressed into your neck where your bonding gland was, the skin swollen and angry, already starting to swell. You hoped that maybe it didn’t catch, because you didn’t really want to be bonded, but you could feel it, the pull towards Steve. Your own thoughts betrayed you and now? You were screwed.

You were bonded to a random hot guy you met in a club.

“What the fuck did you do?!” You screeched, tears already prickling at your eyes and there was a sinking feeling in your chest. You actually felt like you were going to faint, or throw up, or both in whichever order it happens.

You turned to him, expecting any reaction whatsoever, but there was nothing. Steve sat still on the bed where you left him, his eyes locked on the blood stains on your sheets. You couldn’t believe he had the audacity to even look surprised.

“I fucking knew it! All of you are the same! All of you! Fucking Alphas!” You yelled as you exited the bathroom. Steve didn’t even flinch as you started throwing his clothes at him in anger. “This was supposed to be a bit of fun! Thought you were different but you are just the same! Claim an Omega and make them your fucking sex slave?! You dick!”

“I didn’t… I didn’t mean for this to happen.” You were surprised how small his voice was and you had to admit he was a great actor, pretending to be all crushed and guilty.

You watched him jump off the bed and walk over to where you were leaning against the cold wall, all graceful muscle and alluring beauty. How stupid you were.

“Please, you have to believe me. This was an accident, I swear, I got carried away. Please, darling..” He went to cup your face and you slapped his hands away, angry tears streaming down your face.

“Don’t touch me! Liar!” You were full on sobbing now, face hidden in your hands, your entire body shaking. Steve didn’t try to touch you again after or even talk to you. Over your whimpers, you could hear the ruffle of his clothes as he was getting dressed. Then water running inside the bathroom and quiet footsteps towards you again.

You flinched when his fingers locked around your wrist and gently moved it away from your face. He had a wet cloth in his hand and tears in his eyes.

“Please, let me help you.” He begged, words strained and wet from unshed tears.

You let him wipe the blood off your body, because the biggest damage has already been done anyway. You wish you could tell him to leave and never come close to you again, but you knew what bonding meant. At least for the first few days while you healed, your instincts would go crazy, demanding your Alpha near you and he would probably go feral if he tried to isolate himself from you now. It would only cause more damage to both of you, so you didn’t fight it.

“I’m sorry. I really am. I wish I could take it back.” He murmured as he finished up, then stood there, fiddling with the cloth in his hands, waiting for you to say something.

“I hate you.” You spat out, not looking up from your feet.

“Don’t say that.” He pleaded with you and you finally looked up at him. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed pink.

“I hate you. I hate Alphas and how you all think you can just take whatever you want, as if everything in this world belongs to you. I didn’t ask for this!” You point to the angry wound on your neck, no longer bleeding but still throbbing. “I didn’t ask to be bonded! Why couldn’t you just fuck me and fuck off?!”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do it! I didn’t mean to bond with you! I lost control, I let my instincts take over. I’m sorry!” You stared at him, both of you were yelling now and his booming voice would normally scare you but he did sound sincere.

It didn’t change the fact that he broke what little trust you had in him that night, though. It didn’t change that he took away your freedom and independence that you held so dear.

A loud knock came from the door, breaking you out of your angry stupor. “It’s the middle of the night! If you two can’t keep it quiet, I’ll call the police!” A vaguely familiar voice came from the other side, one of your neighbours. He didn’t wait for you to answer and you heard the door of his apartment slam seconds later.

Steve sighed and moved around the room, collected your clothes and came back to you.

“Do you want to get dressed and we’ll go get my car from the club?” He spoke in a soft voice, not wanting to anger you or your neighbours. He felt like he did enough damage already.

“You’re drunk, you can’t drive.” You mumbled when you took your things from him. You didn’t actually plan on wearing the black dress you had on earlier, you were pretty sure the zipper was ripped.

“I think what I just did sobered up both of us.” You could feel the guilt coming off him, your bodies now adjusting to each other. From now on, you’d immediately sense all of each other’s emotions, no matter how well either of you tried to mask them. Steve moved to the sofa, sitting with his back to you to give you some privacy to get dressed.

You dropped your clothes from earlier in a pile next to the bathroom floor, to be dealt with whenever and took out a pair of comfortable trousers and a sweater from your closet. You took deep breaths to calmed down a bit, and now you could feel your entire body was a bit sore from the sex you just had, so you prefered to at least wear something that made you feel better.

Without a word, you put on a pair of sneakers, pulled on a jacket and grabbed your keys. You were about to call for Steve that you’re ready to go but he was already by your side in seconds. With a gentle hand on your shoulder, he made you face him again.

“What you said earlier… I don’t want to use you or hurt you. Even though this was a mistake on my part, I promise I will take care of you.”

“No offence Steve, but I don’t trust you one bit.” With that you opened the door and gestured at him to leave. He sighed heavily, his head dropping low, but he did what you asked and stepped out in the hallway. You followed him as a numbness started to wash over you and the realisation hit you.

You would have to join Steve’s pack now, whoever and wherever they were.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader struggles with depression after bonding with Steve, while he seeks out the pack's advice to help her.

[This chapter is written from Steve’s POV.]

Steve hated himself. He absolutely loathed himself and everything he is and especially what he did last night. In fact, he decided that once he got home, he would call Bucky and ask him to beat him to pulp, hell, he’d tell him to bring Sam and Tasha along too. He had half a mind to ask Sharon to come over and chew his face off but she was due with her pups and he didn’t want to stress her out even more.

He glanced at you curled up on the passenger seat next to him and a fresh wave of guilt and self-loathing hit him in the face. He knew you hated him, he could literally feel it rolling off you along with disappointment, regret and sadness. You had every right to feel this way, he broke what little trust you had offered him, he bonded with you based on some stupid wolf-instinct bullshit that was neither a good explanation or excuse.

His mind kept replaying the night before, as he was trying to figure out how he messed up so bad. He remembered seeing you at the bar, a gorgeous Omega emanating more personality than most Alphas he’s met, he felt an indescribable pull to you. He could tell you were weary of him, so he did keep some distance at the beginning, but once you’ve warmed up to him and allowed him close, Steve didn’t want to let you go.

When you had suggested going to your place, Steve followed you like a puppy. He now realised he should’ve never let anything more than kissing happen, since both of you were far from sober, but truth be told, he wasn’t thinking. He barely even remembered the walk to your apartment, he did vaguely remember everything else, but his memory failed him in some moments. He recalled how good you felt, how soft and warm you were and how sweet you sounded when you moaned his name. He got lost so quickly and completely in all the feelings, he didn’t even know what came over him when a thought crossed his mind, that you could be the mate he was longing for all these years.

In his drunken state, he completely lost control of himself, and before he knew it, his teeth were latched into your neck, fangs he usually only showed in his wolf form were sunk into your bonding gland and when he tasted the metallic tang of your blood on his tongue, only then did he realise something was wrong.

Steve was disgusted with himself but the only thing he could do now is make sure you weren’t miserable.

After he had retrieved his car last night and parked in front of your apartment building, you had offered him your sofa to sleep on, which was way more than he deserved. You had spent the entire night rearranging your life, sending out emails and excusing yourself from plans, your job, your evening college classes. You had told everyone there was a family emergency and you had to go out of town for a while. In the morning, you packed a small bag of necessities and followed him to the car without saying much.

The ride back to Steve’s didn’t take long, but it was difficult. Had your bonding occured as it should have, you would have spent the next few days curled up around each other in your nest, while your bonding mark healed and the two of you adjusted to each other. Steve yearned for you, he wanted to make sure you’re okay and healing but he wouldn’t dare touch you when you didn’t want him to. He could sense you were struggling too, the skin over your knuckles straining from how hard you were clutching at your sweater, but he could also sense how angry and sad you were.

It didn’t take long before you reached the pack’s little settlement just outside the city. A few small wooden houses scattered off the main road, not really standing out from in between the trees, not catching anyone’s attention, just like they wanted. Steve parked in front of his house, ignoring everyone who turned their attention to his arrival, and opened the door on your side to help you out of the car. You frowned at him but looked around curiously.

“This is where you live?” You eyed the small plain cabin, not much to it other than a couple of steps leading to the door and a wooden wind chime at the edge of the roof.

“Hey, Stevie!” Bucky greeted from across the way, Sam following close behind. “Who’s that?”

Steve hated how scared of Bucky you seemed, immediately stepping closer to Steve out of pure instinct, but it was only natural. You would feel uneasy around other wolves for a while, but Steve guessed your own feelings regarding Alphas only added to that. He put a hand on your shoulder and shielded you with his body. Sam and Bucky were good guys, but in the current delicate state, Steve didn’t want them to overwhelm you.

“Buck, can we talk later? This is not a good time.”

“We were worried when you didn’t come home last night. Now I see there was nothing to worry about.” Sam draped an arm over his mate’s shoulers and grinned at Steve. He tried to give you a friendly wave, but you wouldn’t look up at the pair.

“Look, guys, it’s a bit complicated. I’ll talk to you later, alright?” Steve pleaded with them. They could clearly sense the uneasiness growing, so they left without asking any more questions, they knew Steve would fill them in on what was going on anyway.

The moment you were alone again, Steve turned to you and untangled your fingers from his shirt. “I’m sorry for that. Let’s go inside?”

You nodded quickly and grabbed your bag from the backseat, then followed him inside his home. Just like the outside of it, inside it was simple but still warm and inviting. The walls were covered in wood and framed artwork, the interior smoothly went from kitchen to living room to bedroom, all open to one another. The bedroom was lifted on a low platform, a large bed in the middle of it, a wardrobe and a standing lamp beside the bed were the only pieces of furniture there.

You set your bag by the door and looked around. Steve gestured for you to go ahead and check the place, he knew your instincts would tell you to check if his home is good for you. He hoped it was.

Without a word, you made your way to the living room, traced your fingers along the backrests of the heavy leather sofas and made a stop by the fireplace, above which Steve had a little display of pictures. Some were photos of him and his pack members, Sam and Bucky during their wedding ceremony, Natasha and Sharon when they had only just started dating, Helen lifted high in the air by Thor after she received her medical degree. they were good memories and Steve was happy they caught your attention.

“Who’s this?” You asked, finger pointed at a sketch standing proud behind all the other pictures. Steve glanced at you from the spot he had taken in the kitchen.

“That’s my mom. I drew that for her birthday many years ago.” You seemed surprised that Steve could draw, but then again, so were many people.

You took a moment to look over all the pictures there and moved on to explore the rest of the house. You moved around so quietly, even in spots where the floorboards were noisy, you seemed to make a lot less noise than Steve ever did. He stayed out of you way, answered any questions you had from his spot in the kitchen. Although you were definitely still upset, you didn’t seem to mind the cabin, the only place you eyed suspiciously was the only bed Steve had. It was definitely big enough to fit you both comfortably, Steve had made it himself to be large enough to fit his tall frame, but if he were to guess, you weren’t pleased with the idea of sleeping with Steve anytime soon, if ever at all. He made a mental note to ask around if anyone had a spare bed he could get for you, if not, he was pretty sure there was enough wood laying around out back to build something simple, he’d need a new mattress though.

“Can I have some water?” Your timid voice startled Steve out of his planning and calculations. He didn’t even notice you approach the kitchen table and sit at one of the chairs, his eyes were fixed on some spot on the other side of the room while he was thinking. Steve shook his head to clear his mind of the distracting thoughts and focused on you instead.

“Do you want some tea? It’s a bit cold today.” He offered with a kind smile, one you didn’t return, only shrugged at his suggestion. Steve moved around the kitchen, swiftly grabbing cups, tea bags, sugar. “Want something to eat?” He asked as he waited for the water to boil.

“No.”

“Are you sure? You haven’t eaten anything yet today and it’s not -”

“I don’t want anything, _Steve_.” You interrupted him firmly, his rambling seemed to push you back to the anger he saw the night before.

Not wanting to make things worse, he turned around to finish your drinks. He set your cup in front of you silently, followed by the jar of sugar and a clean spoon. For some reason, you seemed like a sweet drink type of person, Steve wasn’t sure why he was under that impression, but it was confirmed when after tasting the tea and scrunching your nose at the taste, you dumped two heaped spoonfuls of sugar in the cup.

“I’m gonna need to go back to my place, get some clothes and stuff.” You announced a bit later, half of your tea gone by then.

You sounded unsure, as if you were already expecting Steve to tell you no and forbid you from leaving his side. That wasn’t the case at all, Steve was happy to let you do whatever you wanted, but no matter how much he tried to reason with his instincts, he didn’t like the idea of either of you leaving the house. It was getting harder by the minute to silence the wolf in him that was roaring at Steve to claim you, telling him you should be nowhere else but in his arms, which was truly pissing Steve off, and he could tell his angry demeanour was making you nervous, scared even.

“How about I send two of my friends to collect your things? You can give them a list of things you need and they can bring everything here.” Steve tried to bargain, but when you looked up from your cup and fixed him with an incredulous look, he knew he was being an idiot again.

“I don’t want strangers in my house. I already made that mistake once.” You hissed at him, angrily shoving the chair back and walking away to the furthest corner of the house.

Steve set his cup down next to yours and sat on the couch closest to the corner of the living room you had chosen to escape to. He was such an idiot, always saying the wrong things.

“I’m sorry, you’re right.” He hated how you tried to make yourself as small as possible, curled up in the corner of the room. “How about he head back in a bit and you can take everything you need? I’ll go ask one of the boys to lend me a bigger car and when we come back I’ll see if I can get an extra bed for you.” He offered, hoping that would soothe you. Without looking at him, you nodded and he knew he wouldn’t get any more answers from you.

He managed to convince you to eat a little, reminded you you’d need strength to pack your things. Steve also ended up recruiting Wanda to help you out, seeing as she was the first person to pop in his head when he needed the help of someone calm and sweet. It had taken until almost sunset for the three of you to pack most of you belongings on Sam’s pickup truck and from what Steve could tell, with every box that he lifted to the car, your heart seemed to break piece by piece. Steve really wished you could stay in your apartment, but if the two of you stayed apart now, your instincts would make living difficult as they would call for your Alpha to be near you and you would probably end up searching for him everywhere without even meaning to, and for Steve to leave his pack unattended was not an option.

As you were packing your books, through Wanda’s friendly chatter, Steve found out you had recently started a course to become a nurse, which he found admirable. The longer Steve spent in your apartment and watched the sadness grow in your eyes as you taped shut more boxes, he wished could turn back time get a hold of himself back at the bar.

While the three of you were at your apartment, an extra bed was set up in the corner of the living room, far from Steve’s bed. The other furniture was moved around and a wooden screen divided your temporary bedroom from the rest of the house, giving you some privacy. Steve was already planning on what changes needed to be made to the house to make it more comfortable for you, but this had to do for now. Back at his house, Sam and Bucky had helped Steve unload all your boxes inside the house, so you could start unpacking them whenever you wanted. Darkness and the long day behind them caught up with the men though, and they soon said their goodbyes.

Later that night, the house mostly shrouded in darkness, with only a few rays of moonlight spilling through the windows, was the first time Steve heard you cry yourself to sleep.  
__________________

Steve knew he was in way over his head, he had no clue how to handle the situation anymore. It’s been only a bit over a week since he had bonded with you, and you have only gotten worse and he, no matter how much he tried, had no clue how to help you. As days went by, you isolated yourself more and more, you wouldn’t talk to him much - you hadn’t said a single word to him all day today - you didn’t want to go outside or talk to anyone else and that worried him to no end. He could sense your emotions constantly when he was around you, the feeling only becoming slightly more dull when he was away from you, at work or for any other reason.

He noticed you have been eating less these past couple of days. Not completely giving up on food, but you have definitely lost your appetite, most of the time you’d start pushing food around your plate once you were half-way done with it, only to let out a sigh a few minutes later and either dispose of the rest or put it in containers, depending on what you were eating. Helen had warned him that loss of appetite might be something you would go through, considering you seemed to get more and more miserable by the day, but Steve worried the effect that would have on you in the long run.

Steve knew he had to fix his mistakes as soon as possible, but since he not only was the cause of you pain but also didn’t really know how to help you, he seeked the pack’s council.

“I think you should just give her some time, get to know each other and she’ll soon realise she landed the best Alpha ever.” Bucky, ever so nonchalant, shrugged and reached for another piece of cake that Natasha had offered them when Steve and his most trusted pack members gathered in her home. His hand was quickly slapped away, before he could even touch the plate, by a very annoyed Sam.

Don’t get him wrong, Sam loved Bucky, but he also wouldn’t allow him to be a dumbass. “Stop saying nonsense. You heard Steve, Y/N is getting worse and we need to help her.”

“And we will, but we need her to let us help her.” Natasha commented from her corner of the table. She was closely listening to the ongoing conversation, but her eyes were locked on her mate, Sharon, who was napping peacefully in her nest by the fireplace. It was only a matter of days before peace and quiet became only a daydream, as Sharon was expecting her pups to arrive within the next week.

Natasha faced Steve, who sat slumped in his chair, chin resting in his palm as he absentmindedly traced his fingertips over the natural patterns in the wooden surface of the table. “You said she talks with Wanda?”

“Yeah, sometimes. Usually it’s just Wanda telling her stories and stuff about our pack.” He didn’t see how that would help. Wanda was a wonderful person, a very caring Omega, but Steve doubted Wanda alone could do that much, especially that you didn’t even respond to her most of the time.

“Good, that’s a start. Maybe if we slowly introduce ourselves to Y/N, show her we’re a family, she’ll feel more at ease in the pack.” Natasha suggested with a kind smile and a reassuring hand covering Steve’s.

Steve didn’t really know anything about your past, other than the fact that you started a college course a few months back. You hadn’t told him anything about your family, your pack, or if you even had one, but judging by your reaction and the things you had told him, he figured your experience wasn’t very pleasant and he had mentioned it to Natasha. He wouldn’t say his pack is perfect, they were just a bunch of werewolves trying to survive, but Steve liked to think they had a strong familial bond between them and cared for each other. But if that wasn’t what you wanted, neither he or anyone had the right to force you into staying with the pack.

“Listen Nat, I wanted to ask you something, but it’s…uh.. a sensitive topic.” Steve started cautiously. What he was about to bring up wasn’t something that was commonly done and it definitely wasn’t easy. Nat fixed him with a curious, but suspicious look and nodded for him to continue.

“Wouldn’t it be better for Y/N for me to…. break our bond?” The redhead’s eyes widened at the suggestion.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Stevie.” Bucky whispered, leaning closer to his Alpha and away from Natasha. He couldn’t read Natasha’s expression and that scared him a bit; even though Bucky was physically stronger and larger than her, a pissed off Alpha is not someone he was willing to be close to.

Steve raised his hands in defense, fearing that this idea really did anger Natasha. She was forced to break a bond with her previous mate, many years before, as he was abusive of her. Her circumstances were a lot different and a lot worse than Steve’s and yours, but she was the only person in the pack who could give him any good advice on it. That didn’t mean, however, that she was happy to talk about that topic and sensing her mate’s unease, Sharon lifted her head off the pillows, brown eyes now fully awake and watching the group carefully, her soft golden fur illuminated by the fire behind her.

Natasha cleared her throat, calming herself. “Steve, I know you have good intentions, but right at this moment, breaking your bond would be very painful for both of you. Even if Y/N consents to it, she might get hurt badly, considering her already bad state.” She sighed deeply, ran her slightly trembling fingers through her red locks.

A low growl interrupted her, at first none of them were aware where did it come from. Only when Steve felt his leg being violently shaken under the table did he realise that Sharon, unnoticed by either of them, had gotten up and trotted over to the dining table, her goal being to make Steve aware she was not happy with him.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I deserve that!” Steve yelped as he tried to rip the fabric of his trousers from between her sharp teeth. Maybe Sharon was a Beta, but Steve knew better than to mess with her - human or wolf form. “C’mon Shar, I’m sorry for upsetting Nat. Please let go?”

With one last growl, Sharon let go of his trousers but made sure she snapped her strong jaws in a dangerously close proximity to his fingers, just so he remembered not to ever repeat this again in the future. Natasha was smiling all through the attack, thoroughly enjoying watching her wife rough up the pack’s Alpha in her defense. She let her palm run along Sharon’s spine as she passed Natasha’s chair on her way back to her nest, letting her Beta know she was grateful.

Returning to the conversation, Natasha sighed and rested her chin in her palm. “I hate to say it, but Bucky is right. You need to give her some time.” She ignored Bucky high-fiving Sam in celebration of her agreeing with him for once and continued, her gaze on Steve now calm. “Once your mate feels better, you can discuss breaking the bond and if it’s what you both want, then I’ll help you.”

On his way home, Steve though hard about his friends’ advice. On one hand he knew he should want to break the bond, it was the right thing to do, give you your independence back, let you live your life just the way you want to. On the other hand, there was the loneliness that has been eating away at him for years and as selfish as it was, he really wished you’d stay with him. Part of him that he would never admit, was afraid that he’d never find another person like you, another person who would pull him in like you did.

But he had no right to even ask of you to stay. You were your own person and he wasn’t going to be the selfish prick that took that away from you, which was why Steve decided to help you get your strength back and once you felt better, he would break the bond he had forced on you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reader and Steve finally start talking to each other.

[ _Steve’s POV._ ]

Over the next few weeks, Steve was barely ever home and only ever saw you long before sunrise shone through the trees or long after it had set. He would take a few minutes during those moments to simply look at you and feel your emotions while you slept. You’d probably call him creepy, hell, anyone would, but he has simply become too busy to be around and that was the only way he could see for himself how you were doing. As Sharon’s and Natasha’s pups arrived in the world, Steve had taken over their responsibilities inside the pack, helping out around the other houses, giving advice and sometimes looking after the children of other couples. His pack was small and every pair of helping hands was priceless, add to that his actual day job at the local logging company and he barely had time to even think.

He made sure that while he wasn’t around you wouldn’t get lonely. Wanda had offered to look after you in her spare time, making sure you were taking care of yourself and eating. She had quickly become very fond of you, despite meeting you in what was probably your worst moments and you didn’t even talk that much, which didn’t seem to bother her at all. She also developed a habit of texting Steve and telling him about your day, what the two of you were up to and if you had met any other member of the pack. He was happy to know you were slowly opening up to other people, even if he was pretty sure you still couldn’t stand being around him.

It came as a big surprise to Steve when one evening, after a long day of work, as he was heading home for the night, he could smell Sharon’s scent just outside his home. He was exhausted, but happy he didn’t have any pack responsibilities to take care of for once, and he was anticipating finally seeing you, maybe he’d get you to talk to him again. Usually, the only scents he would ever sense around his home were his own, yours and Wanda’s, rarely ever did anyone else come by these days. Needless to say, he didn’t expect to find you, Wanda, Natasha and Sharon in front of the fireplace, all sat on a blanket and playing with Sharon’s and Natasha’s young pups. The little ones were still in their wolf form, as they were too young yet to learn how to turn human, and the tiny balls of fur were the reason Steve saw you smile for the first time since the night he met you, over two months ago.

Steve had almost forgotten how your face looked like when you smile, how you sounded when you laughed, how your eyes sparkled like the stars at night. You didn’t notice him standing at the door, gaping at you like an idiot, he was shocked that for once there was laughter in his house, and you felt lighter, calm. One of Sharon’s pups was nestled in your lap, dozing off as you watched the other one try to shred it’s mother’s sleeve, it’s fur only slightly darker than her blond hair.

As the women laughed in the living room, Steve decided to hide in the kitchen, where he could clearly see them but keep enough distance so no one noticed just how emotional the scene made him. His eyes were stinging, so he took long and deep breaths to calm himself.

But of course, before he had the chance to fully get it together, Natasha spotted and joined him where he was leaning against the counter. She watched the others for a moment, and even without being mates, Steve could feel her pride. Not only was she blessed with an amazing wife, but also two adorable children and Steve couldn’t be happier for her.

“I thought playing with puppies would be nice.” She commented, her lips pulling into a smile. When Steve didn’t answer her, she turned to face him. She could see just much he was fighting not to cry, eyes rimmed red and tears threatening to spill over his cheeks. Natasha had known him almost her entire life, she knew just how emotional he was, but he rarely let his emotions show like this. She cooed comfortingly and pulled him into a hug, his face hidden against her shoulder. It reminded Steve of the old times, when he was still shorter than her and didn’t feel the need to keep his emotions in check at all times.

“Steve?” Natasha called for his attention, he lifted his head, sniffling quietly. “It’s gonna be okay. Just talk to her.”

Steve nodded, his eyes quickly finding you again. He wouldn’t admit it to Natasha or anyone else, but he was scared. He was afraid that the moment the girls left and it’s only the two of you, you would be sad again and it wasn’t fair for you to be sad in what was now your home. Over time, your things filled the spaces Steve had ignored, your books found their way next to his own pile of random novels and sketchbooks, you had your own blanket on one of the sofas, where Steve sometimes would find you sleeping with a book still open in your lap. He didn’t want to make you sad anymore and now that he could feel your happiness and you had lit up the room with your smile, he wasn’t sure he’d survive without that.

Natasha squeezed his shoulder. “Go pull yourself together and we’ll get out of your hair.”

Steve disappeared in the bathroom for a short while, he really needed a shower after the entire day at work. Through the door, he could hear Natasha scolding one of the pups for ruining Sharon’s sweater, followed by more laughter from the group.

Steve listened as you said your goodbyes to the others, a hint of nervousness now added to your emotions and he wondered if you disliked the idea of being alone with him. The mere thought broke his heart, but he still could not blame you at all. He moved around the kitchen quietly, only sparing a single wave at the guests leaving his home, he kept himself busy preparing hot drinks for the two of you, avoiding the inevitable for as long as he could.

In the silence that filled the space, he could hear you move around the room and settle on the couch. He expected to find you in your usual corner, but instead, wrapped in your favourite fluffy blanket, you sat in the middle of what was unofficially Steve’s couch. He came in the living room, slowly so as not to spill anything and set the cups on the coffee table before he sat down as well, only a little further from you than he wanted.

“Hey.” He greeted you, his cautiousness audible in his voice.

Steve almost fell to his knees when you gave him a small smile, looking him in the eye for the first time in what felt like forever. He couldn’t sense any hatred in you anymore, only some anxiety, your eyes weren’t shining as much as they did earlier though. He could see some sadness there still, but Steve knew this was his chance to fix things.

_ _ _ _

[ _Reader’s POV._ ]

It’s been a while since you’ve felt anything but regret, worry and exhaustion from Steve. You couldn’t help but start worrying about him lately, he was working too much. Wanda had told you his job at the logging company was quite tough and he had a lot of responsibilities with the pack, since he was their leader. Somehow, it didn’t surprise you to learn that about Steve, from the moment you had met him, you knew he had this aura about him, even humans seemed to respect him.

Wanda had told you a lot of things about the pack, it’s members and Steve. She had assured you time and time again of what a good person he was, how caring and protective he was of the pack, but you didn’t believe her at first. Then she told about her story and how Steve had taken her and her twin brother Pietro under his wing when they were barely more than teens.

You had always known there were humans who still believed in the existence of werewolves, but you weren’t aware there were people out there who hunted your kind, some even caught wolves to use as bait to get more in a trap. That was what was done to Wanda and Pietro - they were caught by hunters at a very young age, they would hurt them and lure in other wolves who wanted to save the injured pups. Wanda said she’d never forget the day Steve and his pack saved them and took them in.

That story definitely had you seeing Steve in a completely different light, but you still didn’t forgive him for bonding with you like he did. You understood it was a mistake, but you couldn’t simply pretend like it was all alright.

You watched him walk from the kitchen to the couch, a giddiness to his movements but he was watching himself, like he didn’t want to mess up again. He set a cup of your favourite tea in front of you (most likely Wanda let it slip which one it was) and sat next to you, still giving you plenty of space. You appreciated his efforts, but you knew a serious, adult conversation was due between the two of you.

The fire cast a warm glow on his face, which you had refused to even look at for a while and what you saw there saddened you. It was hidden behind his beard, but you could see his cheeks had lost a bit of the softness you remembered, his cheekbones were a bit more prominent, but not in a good way, and the dark circles that weren’t there before worried you.

As Steve looked at the fireplace, some war of thoughts happening in his head, you let yourself reach out, your knuckles gently brushing against his jaw. His reaction to your touch was instant - first his eyes fluttered shut, those ridiculous, beautiful, golden lashes of his bushing his cheeks, the tension in his shoulders left him and with a sigh, you felt relief wash over him.

“You lost weight.” You pointed out, even though you were aware your eating habits had gone out the window since the two of you bonded, your clothes hanging on your body just a bit more loose than they used to. Still, you kind of felt bad. “I didn’t realise how much this affected you. Or…maybe I didn’t want to, I don’t know. I’m sorry, Steve.”

He opened his eyes at that, the blue somehow warm and he stared at you like you grew a second head. “You have nothing to apologise for.” Steve insisted, rough but warm fingers taking hold of your hand. “This… your pain, it’s all my fault. I’m the one who’s sorry.”

You weren’t sure how to put your feelings into words, it was one indescribable mix of different emotions. “Can I be honest with you, Steve?” He nodded, still holding your hand. “I’m tired, Steve. I tired of being sad and scared.”

“You don’t have to.” Steve assured you as he scooted a bit closer. “You don’t have to be scared. Look, I’m not gonna pretend like I don’t know anything. I know your pack wasn’t good to you, Wanda told me you mentioned a few things.” That probably shouldn’t surprise you, in fact, you should be upset Wanda told him something so personal, but if you were to be honest, you were glad you didn’t have to explain why this situation scared you.

Steve lifted your palm to his lips and kissed the inside of it. “Let me take care of you. Let me show you a pack can be a good thing. I honestly like you a lot and I would love for you to stay, but if this is not what you want, well, there is a way out.” He offered, though it was obvious he wasn’t happy to be telling you this.

This piqued your interest, as you’ve never heard of “a way out”, as far as you were aware, once two wolves bonded, it was for life. “What do you mean?”

“Natasha… she has broken a bond before.” Steve began to explain. “She said it can be done, but it’s difficult and painful, so she wouldn’t attempt it while you weren’t feeling well. We can wait until you’re a bit stronger and then we can break the bond.”

You could feel that saying this to you pained him, that he didn’t really want you to leave, but you were glad he was being honest with you. You weren’t in a state to make such a decision just yet though, the conversation was starting to make you emotional and you didn’t want to do anything rash.

“I can’t make this decision now.” You informed him. “And I can’t say I fully forgive you yet.”

“It’s okay, take as much time as you need.” You nodded, grateful that he seemed to have endless patience. His sad blue eyes fell to his lap, where he was still holding your hand gently, his touch surprising feather-light. “I understand if you never forgive me, though. What I did…it wasn’t right.”

It still shocked you how gentle and nice he was, part of you expected him to go full Alpha on you at some point, like you’ve witnessed times and times before, when loud shouts and violence seemed to be the default response to anything that displeased an Alpha. But Steve has proved to be the exception to the rule, though you doubted he noticed he was proving anything at all. You kind of felt stupid for feeling emotional just because Steve showed all signs of being a decent and nice person, but you couldn’t help the little sniffle that escaped you or the tears that threatened to spill down your face any moment. Before that could happen, you let your face fall to his shoulder and decided to let him take care of you like he asked, some part of you yearning to simply be comforted by your Alpha.

Steve’s arms wrapped around you securely and he pulled you in his lap, the warmth of his body surrounding you completely. He pressed his face against your neck, leaving the softest of kisses on your now healed bonding mark. You rested a hand on the back of his neck, wordlessly telling him to stay there, where you actually found you quite enjoyed having him, and turned your face towards him to touch your lips to his ear where your could reach. Drinks and the outside world forgotten for a while, you stayed like this for what felt like hours, until you started to nod off after the long day.

You weren’t sure how long after that you were woken up by a sharp knock on the door. Steve didn’t move to open it, only lifted his head to look at whoever invited themselves inside the house.

“Steve?” It was one of the men you had met when you first arrived, you were pretty sure his name was Sam. He scanned the inside of the cabin with frantic eyes, until they landed on the two of you on the couch. His face seemed to soften for a short second, but the worry soon resurfaced. He took a few long steps towards you and stood right next to Steve. Up close, you could see his hands were shaking and there were some strange dark flecks on his jeans.

"I’m so sorry to intrude, but there’s been a situation. Bucky is hurt.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack is under a threat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took forever! I hope you enjoy it!

“Bucky is hurt.”

It was like the world came to a screeching halt the moment those words left Sam’s lips. Steve felt all blood leave his face at the same time you let out a small gasp and got off his lap, then he was off the couch before anyone could say anything else and already running to the hangers by the door, pulling on a jacket and his boots.

Bucky getting in trouble was nothing new, ever, and since the two of them grew up together, Steve knew better than anyone else, that Bucky was one stubborn and sturdy guy. Even though he was a Beta, Bucky was one of the strongest people in the pack. Somewhere in the back of his head, Steve knew Bucky was capable of walking away from the worst injuries with a smile on his face, if his prosthetic arm was anything to go by. Even the fact that he rarely ever turned into a wolf didn’t stop Bucky.

Did that stop Steve from losing his damn mind every time Bucky got in trouble? No, absolutely not.

His body was so stiff with stress, it was surprising he managed to bend down to get his boots laced up, but the worry and fear were so intense they rolled off him like waves. He felt bad you had to share those same feelings with him, but he couldn’t help it at that moment.

“What the hell happened?” Steve demanded as he pulled his jacket on.

“We were patrolling the borders with the Smiths and suddenly we heard shots. I didn’t see them, they were too far away, but Bucky came running back, bleeding…” Sam took a deep breath as his voice trembled at the memory of his mate covered in blood and running for his life.

“He said it was hunters, told me to run before I even managed to turn back to human.”  
Fully dressed, Steve turned to Sam.

“Where’s Bucky now?” He sounded breathless, like all that Sam has told him has knocked the breath out of him.

“Home. Helen is with him but he’s not getting any better.” Sam chewed on him bottom lip anxiously, his eyes downcast and shoulders slumped.

It was almost like Steve only now noticed through the haze of anxiety that Sam was truly suffering; Steve usually wasn’t blind to what others around him felt, but when it came to his closest pack members, his emotions tended to cloud his judgement sometimes. Now as he approached Sam, he could see the dried tear staining his cheeks and the trembling hands clutching on his jacket. Steve couldn’t even begin to imagine the gut-wrenching pain Sam must be going through right now.  
The Alpha put his hands on Sam’s shoulders, hoping the tight grasp will provide at least a little comfort for the other man.

“He’s going to be okay, Sam. You know Bucky. And I’m sure Helen will do everything in her power to help him.” He reassured Sam before turning to you.

Steve was going to tell you he won’t be long and that you shouldn’t worry, but in the heat of it all, he never noticed you silently getting off the couch and getting ready as well. You had just barely put on your scarf when he noticed what you were doing and rushed towards you.

“No, no, Y/N, please stay here. You’ll be safe here.”

Steve cupped your face in his hands, holding you gently. He was so grateful that you had opened up to him today, that the two of you were working towards something good, and the thought of you leaving the safety of his home now that there was danger waiting somewhere outside… That thought truly scared him.

“Steve…” Your hands were soft on his arms, gently rubbing some calmness back into him.

“I was studying to be a nurse, remember? I don’t know a whole lot but maybe I can help a little. Please, let me help?” Steve could feel his resolve melting away with every single word, he struggled to say no to you when you were looking at him with those beautiful eyes of yours.

“I know I’ll be safe with you.”

As much as Steve wanted to preen at the fact that you now felt safe around him, he knew he had no time. So with a final nod, Steve adjusted your scarf to make sure you were warm, he grabbed your hand and lead you outside, where you soon followed Sam to his home.

_ _ _ _

The first thing you noticed as you ran behind Steve, your hand tightly holding onto his own, was that it had started to snow. The ground was covered in a thin layer of white fluff, the late fall leaves still peaking through. The light flurry swirled around you as the two of you followed Sam to his home. The journey lasted only a few minutes but it felt like hours as you took in your surroundings.

Steve’s pack lived in a little gathering of wooden homes that stood in random spots between the tall trees, blending into the forest perfectly. Most of them seemed to be the exact same shape as Steve’s, some of them only slightly larger. Some were just as simple, but others were decorated with fairy lights, outdoor plants, little trinkets; they looked cosy and inviting.

The two Alphas slowed down as you neared a small gathering of people. The maybe ten people that stood in front of what you assumed was Sam’s house were whispering to each other, some were huddled together with their mates, a few were holding sleepy children in their arms. You spotted Wanda and Natasha standing off to the side, both wrapped in massive blankets and speaking quietly. You have never seen either woman this anxious, Wanda was close to biting off her fingernails by the time you were close enough for them to notice you.

You pulled on Steve’s sleeve and whispered to him when he turned to you.

“Why are they all here?”

“They’re here for Bucky.” He explained simply and lead you up the stairs and inside the house.

It’s not like people in your old pack never got hurt, quite the opposite. It was partially what lead you to wanting to be a nurse; you’d see so many fights happening and so many injuries, you wished you could help them.

What shocked you was that the pack had gathered in front of Sam’s and Bucky’s house to show support. In your pack, the only people who would show up were the closest family members, sometimes the only person next to the injured was their mate, trying to patch them up. You always thought that was the most normal thing, but you supposed the familial ties in Steve’s pack were as strong as Wanda and Sharon told you.

On days when Wanda would hang out with you at Steve’s house, she would tell you so many stories about the pack, you almost felt like you knew half of the members already. She would tell you how the families would help each other, be it fixing up each other’s homes or looking after the kids. Every day, a few people would patrol the unofficial border of the pack’s territory, making sure they’re safe. People would gather in each other’s homes almost weekly, celebrating and enjoying meals together, like one big family.

In your old pack, people mostly kept to their households, caring mostly about their own interest while trusting only a select few, if anyone at all. This sense of community that was so normal in Steve’s pack was something foreign to you, but you found it comforting.

The house was mostly dark when you entered, the only light you saw was coming from the kitchen and dining area, where on the sheet covered table lay Bucky. His shirt was cut open and pulled away from his chest, which was smeared with blood. His injury must have been very bad and the whole operation of getting him to safety must have been rushed.

A woman was bent over his left shoulder, so you couldn’t see much around her. A young boy with black and grey hair approached Steve just as Sam moved away to stand at Bucky’s side.

“We were outnumbered, we didn’t know what to do. They just appeared out of nowhere.”

“You were there too?!” Steve looked between Sam and the boy, but no explanation came from either. Steve’s emotions went through anger to fear and back to relief so fast, it felt like it gave you a whiplash.

Steve pulled the younger boy in a calming half hug, glad he was unharmed.

“Did they follow you?”

“We covered our tracks, there’s no way they could follow.” Sam assured and Steve didn’t press the matter further.

From what you gathered over the past weeks, Sam was one of the people Steve trusted the most, so it didn’t surprise you that Steve only nodded and didn’t say anything else.

“Pietro, what about the Smiths?” Steve asked the boy in a whisper, probably not wanting to bombard Sam with questions considering what was happening.

Pietro seemed to struggle to speak, suddenly choked up and only shook his head, his eyes beginning to water. Steve pulled him in another hug and you decided to give them some privacy as he consoled Pietro. You decided to approach the woman trying to help Bucky.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” Helen looked up at you and narrowed her eyes in confusion.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Y/N, I’m Steve’s- uh, I’m with Steve.” You swallowed hard at the awkward introduction.

Helen glanced at Sam quickly, then back at you. “Do you have any experience?”

“Not a lot, but if there’s anything at all that I can do, then I would like to help.”

“Hold this for me, will you?” Helen handed you the bright flashlight and showed you where exactly you should direct the light.

“Normally, this bullet should’ve gone straight through. There isn’t much flesh in this spot to stop it.” Helen mused, mostly to herself, as she carefully inspected the wound above Bucky’s collarbone. It was dangerously close to his neck, but that wasn’t what worried her the most.

“And the infection looks strange. Not the right colour… Almost like…”

Helen directed you to a different angle as she carefully inserted a pair of long tweezers inside the wound. Bucky gasped and clenched his jaw, but otherwise stayed completely still.

“I’ve got it.” She said suddenly. “It’s seems to be barbed or something.” You’ve seen enough movies to know that’s not a good sign.  
“Did you give him any anesthetics?” You eyed Bucky who seemed to be in excruciating pain.

“Yes, but his body burns through them immediately, even faster than usual.” Helen adjusted her stance a little and turned to her patient.

“Bucky, I need you to stay as still as possible. It’ll only take a few seconds.” Bucky took a deep breath, got a better hold on Sam’s hand and nodded once, his eyes closed tightly.

Once Bucky settled down, all of his energy concentrated on the death grip he had on Sam’s hand, Helen made a quick job of getting the bullet out with firm but careful movements. It was still a struggle, the tiny hooks catching on the flesh of Bucky’s shoulder, but eventually, the bullet was out and with a sombre clunk it ended it’s painful journey in a metal tray Helen had prepared.

Bucky screamed the entire time, but it amazed you that he managed to avoid moving.  
Without missing a beat, Doctor Cho went about cleaning and stitching the wound and you hovered around, passing her whatever tools she needed. The injured man took a deep but shaky breath of relief now that the source of his pain was removed.

You concentrated mostly on helping Helen, but it warmed your heart to see Sam comforting Bucky as the two men spoke quietly, their foreheads touching and hands clutched tightly. The air of fear over the Beta’s well-being finally thinned out and you could feel the relief coming not just from his Alpha, but yours as well.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted Steve carefully step closer, leaving Pietro in the corner by the door. You didn’t pay him any mind as he approached the table where Helen’s tools were spread out, you were too busy helping her wrap the bandage over Bucky’s wound.

“Silver.” He said suddenly, his voice deep and you could feel him getting angry, but also very, very scared.

The single word made time stop again in the tight dining room, the same way it stopped when Sam came to find Steve earlier. Both your and Helen’s hands froze where they were and you looked up at Steve, not really sure how to react. Sam stood straight and tall, his face now pulled into an angry grimace, but his palm remained soft against Bucky’s hair.

Now it made sense why Bucky was suffering so much and why the bullet had such an unusual shape. Silver was poisonous to your kind; it wouldn’t kill you immediately, but large amounts of it or continuous exposure could lead to death.

“So it wasn’t just some random hunters. They know we are wolves.” Sam’s voice was a deep growl and he stood protectively over his mate.

“No, they know exactly what we.” Steve confirmed, dropping the blood stained bullet back in the thay. “And they want us dead.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's some fluff :)

Once Helen was finished patching Bucky up, Pietro and Steve helped move him to the bedroom so he could rest. Despite being busy yourself, helping with cleaning and bringing order back into the dining area, you noticed Steve’s jaw has been clenched almost the entire time since he examined the bullet that hurt his best friend.

His emotions were all over the place; it was distracting how he would switch between anxiety, anger, sadness, the intense urge to fight. You felt bad for him, not only was he extremely worried for Bucky, but now the entire pack was in grave danger.

You couldn’t help but think of Sharon and Natasha, and their newborn pups.  
When Steve came back to find you, you were already dressed and waiting with his coat slung over your arms. He was quiet, worryingly so, and wouldn’t look you in the eye. He got dressed silently, almost as if you weren’t standing right next to him. Maybe if the situation was different, you’d be hurt by his attitude, but you knew exactly what he was feeling.

You slid your hand in his just as he was about to open the door and squeezed it lightly. Steve turned to you, finally meeting your eyes. What you saw broke your heart.

His beautiful blue eyes were rimmed with red and there was a tight frown pulling on his lips. Steve looked like he was barely keeping it together and you hated seeing him like that. No one should be in this situation, ever.

Steve took a deep breath, standing at his full height. He seemed to collect his thoughts for a moment, before he finally opened the door to meet the rest of his pack. You expected they would flock him with questions about Bucky’s well-being, but they surprised you again. Everyone moved to the side, giving the two of you space, so you could go back home.

Steve was quiet for the rest of the night and when he did speak, he sounded distracted, his sentences were mostly limited to very few, quiet words. When you got home, Steve immediately moved to the kitchen to heat up some food for the two of you. You stayed close, but you didn’t try to make him talk and you silently set the table and prepared drinks.

As you ate, you watched Steve push his food around the plate. He was deep in thought and didn’t seem to have any appetite, but you left him to it. You knew he needed some time to process everything, so when he put his mostly untouched plate aside and went to the bathroom, you stayed in your seat. You really wanted him to talk, to tell you the thoughts behind his feelings, but all your instincts were telling you not to push an upset Alpha, no matter what.

So, you let him move around the house, wordlessly go through his nighttime routine. You cleaned up after dinner, then showered as well and by the time you were out of the bathroom, Steve was already in his bed.

You couldn’t sleep for hours after getting in yours. You stayed in your little makeshift bedroom in the corner of the living room that Steve had set up for you, and you stared across the room at the large unmoving lump that was Steve. He wasn’t asleep either, his emotions haven’t settled even a bit and he was lost in his thoughts.

Now, what you were about to do felt very risky. Approaching a distressed Alpha, especially when he had his back to you, was simply asking for trouble. But this was Steve, you reasoned with yourself. Gentle and sweet Steve, who genuinely needed help and support right now. As you made your way across the cabin and to his bed, you still made sure that he could hear your footsteps, so that you didn’t startle him.

Steve’s posture was stiff like a plank and he didn’t react in any way when you climbed on the bed and under the covers. You settled down behind him, pressing your body to his warm one and hugging him around the middle. It took a few minutes, but you could feel him finally relax and allow all the tension to leave his body. You laid a kiss at the back of his head, his soft hair tickling your nose and you let out a soft purr to let him know you’re there for him.

Steve’s mind seemed to quiet down not long after that and both of you could finally get some sleep after the emotionally draining day, you holding him tightly and Steve gently holding on to your hand above his heart.  
_ _ _ _

The next few days were a lot different from the usual routine. While Steve had to go back to work, you spent most of your time in Sam’s home, helping around as much as you could. After the hunters, you didn’t like being alone as it made you anxious, so when Steve suggested you stay with Sam while he’s not there, you were grateful for the company and opportunity to do something other than worry.

The two pack members who died in the incident with the hunters, left behind two young children. Leon, the five year old boy and Ada, his two years younger sister, were all alone with only the pack as their family. The absence of their parents was traumatic for the two young children, who reverted to their wolf forms, which was a natural coping mechanism for your kind. Sam decided to take them in and look after them, at least for a while.

You have also completely given up your bed in favour of sleeping in Steve’s, where you seemed to feel safer. He didn’t say it out loud, but Steve felt better having you close as well.

In the late afternoons, Steve would pick you up from Sam’s house on his way from work. The first night Bucky felt strong enough to move around, Steve ended up staying there for a bit longer than he planned. Sam ushered him inside and told him to _just look_ , when the Alpha asked what was going on.

And there you were again, surrounded by puppies. You sat cross-legged next to Bucky inside a temporary den he had created for the little kids to play in. It was feeding time and sweet Ada was already fast asleep in your arms, tummy full and letting out tiny snores. Bucky held Leon in the crook of his right arm and held up a bottle to the pups mouth. The two of you were staring adoringly at the little one and speaking quietly, while Steve stood at the entrance with his jaw on the floor.

“Quite the sight, isn’t it?” Sam nudged Steve, but it was useless, the man was unable to react in any way.

Steve couldn’t even speak, he was that enamoured by the sight in front of him. You looked so peaceful, and so adorable with Ada in you arms. This was absolutely terrible timing on his side, considering literally everything, but Steve wasn’t fast enough to stop the daydream running through his mind.

You, his sweet Omega, with your and his child in your arms.

Steve shook his head and forced himself back to reality. How insensitive of him to be daydreaming of such things, when you were literally holding an orphan.

And you were barely his, anyway. Sure, you were bonded, and sure, you slept in his bed. But once the danger is gone, you might drag Steve to Natasha and end all of this.

And Steve would let you, if that’s what would make you happy.  
_ _ _ _

“So, let me get this right.” Bucky adjusted his hold on the milk bottle he was feeding Leon with. “He seriously bonded with you when you were both drunk?”

This was the first time the two of you had a chance to have a full conversation and Bucky was curious to hear that story from your point of view. You were embarrassed that Bucky knew the story of how you and Steve ended up being bonded, and you didn’t even want to know to what detail he knew it. Him and Steve were practically like brothers, so you assumed the worse.

“Yeah…” Your face felt hot when Bucky chuckled and shook his head. “To be fair, I did allow it.”

“Don’t you make excuses for him. It wasn’t your fault.” Bucky told you. His tone wasn’t harsh, but you knew he was sincere and he wouldn’t defend Steve against you.

“No, I know. But I’m not angry with him anymore.” You shrugged once you set Ada down on a pillow.

“I don’t really blame him anymore, though. In that moment… It was just a mistake, I know he didn’t mean any harm.”

“That punk…” Bucky shook his head. Leon was done eating, so Bucky handed you the bottle and helped the little pup to burp, which made both of you giggle.

“I was gonna beat him up for that, you know?” Bucky continued as he set Leon next to his sister, so they could both get some sleep.

“You were?”

“Uh-huh. Sammy stopped me though. Said Steve needs to look after you now.”

“Wow, I need to thank Sam for saving my mate, then.” You mumbled, too distracted watching the pups to notice your slip up.

Bucky’s blue eyes lit up with humor. “Your _mate_ , huh?”  
_ _ _ _

Steve was spread on the bed, nose buried in one of the books he’d borrowed off your pile. You needed to talk him into buying or making another bookshelf if the two of you were supposed to live together and with the book-hoarding tendencies you both had, those quickly growing piles of books along the wall just wouldn’t do.

You couldn’t stop thinking about how easily you called Steve your mate, how you didn’t even notice you did until Bucky pointed it out. It’s been a bumpy road until now, but you did consider Steve a friend. You weren’t quite there yet, but now that you got to know him better, you could see the two of you being more than friends.

You climbed in bed next to Steve, the two of you easily getting comfortable. One of Steve’s hands left the book and was distractedly drawing patterns over your calf, while you leaned against the headboard behind him and buried your fingers in his hair.

You noticed he really liked then you played with his hair, or massage his scalp, he’d always melt into your touch and you found it endearing.

As nice as it was to have a moment of peace after what had happened, you knew there was something the two of you had to talk about.

“I saw the way you were looking at me when I held Bucky’s pups.” You broke the comfortable silence between you.

Steve immediately went stiff, as if you had caught him doing something bad. He shifted on the bed, his eyes still on the book and acted like your words didn’t affect him. It was funny how sometimes he’d forget you could literally feel what he felt, which was embarrassment at this moment. Even without your bond though, the bright pink tips of his ears were a dead giveaway.

“I– You looked adorable with them.” He cleared his throat awkwardly and shifted some more, as if the bed was suddenly a bunch of needles.

“Steve… I know you want pups, you don’t have to pretend like you don’t. It’s written all over your face.” You moved your hand from his hair to his shoulder and rubbed it to comfort him.

You situation was unusual, but you would have to eventually talk about things regarding your relationship, no matter what exactly it was right now. It was complicated, but you didn’t want to leave things unsaid, you wanted to be honest with Steve and him to be the same with you.

Steve stirred, his book got set aside and he sat up so he could face you. He offered you his hand and you held it tightly in yours.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured. Yeah, I do want pups, one day, in the future and seeing you with those little kids does things to me but… I won’t ever force you into something you’re not ready for. Especially if you’re not even sure yet if you want to stay with me.”

Steve’s eyes were focused on you and you saw the worry in them when he noticed you tearing up. He cupped your face with one of his hands, his thumb gently rubbing away any tears that escaped. You appreciated his honesty; Apha or not, not many people were willing to lay their thoughts bare for the other person to see, but Steve did it for you, even if it was difficult for him.

You took a few minutes to calm yourself so you could tell him everything you wanted Steve to know.

“I think I do want to stay, Steve.”

“Really?” His blue eyes lit up with joy.

“Yeah, there’s… there’s a lot of love here. You all care about each other and I feel like I’ve become friends with a few people already.”

“Good, that’s good. I’m glad you feel this way.”

“There’s another thing.” Steve nodded for you to continue and suddenly you were the one feeling bashful. “I guess… I guess I’m starting to like you a bit.”

You felt like a teen confessing her crush, face hot and you avoided his eyes. It felt silly, but you couldn’t help it. You did like Steve, he was probably one of the best men you’ve ever met and it didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous. At the end of the day, you were just a girl, nobody could blame you for being attracted to him.

“Does that mean you don’t want to break the bond?” Steve asked, anxious about your answer.

He immediately breathed out in relief when you shook your head. The Alpha took hold of both your hands and brought them to his lips, he pressed kisses to the back of your palms and waited for you to look at him again.

“I promise I’ll always keep you safe.” He promised in a serious tone.

You weren’t sure if he realised how intense he could get sometimes, but it didn’t change the fact that he was being genuine. You didn’t doubt his words in the slightest, even if their intensity made you feel even more shy under his gaze.

“Maybe I would consider making a little pack of our own.” You tried to lighten the mood, but you only fully realised what you said after it left your mouth and Steve gave you a funny look.

“Not right now though. I’m not ready to be a mother just yet.”

Steve chuckled and shook his head. “I know, I understand.”

He scooted closer to you and leaned in to kiss your cheek. You knew it wasn’t much, but it made you feel all warm and tingly. You never realised before that you missed feeling his lips against your skin.

“Thank you. For understanding, I mean… Usually Alphas like to have things their way, don’t they?”

“Well, I like to think I can use my brain sometimes.” He grinned the boyish smile of his you fell for that night you met.

“You have your good days.” You shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant.

It ended up making both you and Steve break out in laughter, and you knew the two of you would be okay, no matter where this relationship went in the future.


End file.
